Week 4 - Contender or Pretender

The first three weeks of the regular season have proven especially tumultuous, with some preseason favorites struggling mightily and a few surprise teams emerging as forces to be reckoned with. Sometimes, however, a team's record can be a misleading barometer of their playoff chances, particularly this early in the season. Let's take a deeper dive on a few teams to unveil if they're contenders - or plain old pretenders.

Thing - PRETENDER

Sure, Thing is the only remaining undefeated team, and he rosters two legitimate fantasy superstars in Swift and Kelce. The harsh reality is that Swift may be out until Week 6, Thing's quarterback situation is concerningly shaky, and their points against currently sits at 299.40, the lowest in the league and nearly 200 points lower than Harrison's! To be fair, Thing's reputation as a consistent playoff contender should probably give him the benefit of the doubt, and a 3-0 record can't be taken lightly... but I don't care. There's absolutely no chance that Thing, with his current roster, will remain at the top of the standings come season's end.

Yung Yerma - CONTENDER

A disappointing Week 2 showing aside, Yung Yerma might be the championship favorite as we approach the quarter-mark of the regular season. Mahomes, Saquon, Cordarelle Patterson, Davante Adams, and Amari Cooper: now that's an absolutely stacked starting lineup. He should have no problem squashing Thing when it comes time to compete for the division crown.

whoisblockedbyjames9 - PRETENDER

Don't be fooled by this division-leading squad; a few big weaknesses will inevitably doom Newman down the stretch. He has a gaping hole at tight end, and two mediocre running backs in Antonio Gibson and Josh Jacobs that are due for some serious regression. Pittman is a bright spot and I have faith that Ekeler will eventually find his footing, but whoisblockedbyjames9 simply doesn't have enough firepower to overcome his weaker players.

SlothBucket - PRETENDER

Perhaps the biggest pretender of them all, SlothBucket insists that his team has great depth and is going to make a big splash in the postseason. It's time for Tyler to face the facts; if not for Stefon Diggs, he would be sad, winless, and with little to hope to finish the season at .500. SlothBucket has the worst quarterback room in the GDFFL, a trio of underwhelming starting running backs, and low-life TikTok receiver who can't produce average numbers even with Pat Mahomes throwing him the ball. I'd be surprised if this team got another win all season.

COLON Kaepernick - CONTENDER

Despite a surprising defeat last week to the incredibly lucky South Park Cows, Dave Scott's squad is championship-caliber, as long as injuries to Herbert, Connor, and Michael Thomas end up being short-term concerns. Simply put, COLON Kaepernick doesn't have a single weakness in his starting lineup, with Ja'Marr Chase anchoring a formidable cast of fantasy stars ripe for explosion on every Sunday. A matchup this week vs. the lowly Public Enemies will be a much-needed reminder that Dave remains the GDFFL's cream of the crop (it should be noted that Dave will crash and burn in the playoffs, as he does every year).